Don’t lie to yourself. You, I and everybody want to be admired and loved. However, we fail to pay what it takes to be admired by others. It is the kindness that attracts people towards you. People admire when you are kind to them.
Dr. Frank Yeomans who is a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University says, “Everyone wants to feel special.”
Dr. Yeomans further explained that “Most of us achieve this through our relationships. The relationships with our friends, family, romantic partners, that’s what usually makes us feel special. We tend to feel special when we feel loved.
As I said earlier you have to be kind enough to make people love and admire you. It is like Newton’s third law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
You might be thinking seeking admiration is not physics. It may or may not be physics but this law is applicable in this case.
Let us understand this with some events from the life of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). Before I go ahead to illustrate some events I would like to tell you that Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) was the person who was admired and loved by everyone because of his character and conduct.
One of his servants Anas Ibn Malik stated in appreciation that, “I served him in town and during travel. By God, he never asked me about anything I did why I did in the way I did; not he ever ask me about something I omitted why I didn’t do it.” [Bukhari]
Once upon a time, Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) asked Anas to go and do some errand. However, he went outside and joined with children playing. When Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) enquired he came to know that the work is not done yet. But, Prophet Muhammad’s (Peace Be Upon Him) reaction was nothing but a smile on his face.
“God’s messenger was of the best type of people. One day he sent me on an errand. I thought I would not go, but deep down I felt that I should go to fulfil what the prophet told me. I went out and join some boys playing in the street. Sometime later, the prophet held me from the back, I turned to look at him and He was smiling. He said ‘Unays, have you gone to do what I told you?’ I said: ‘yes, the messenger of God; I will go now.’” [Muslim and Abu Dawud]
The kindness of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) was not restricted to his servants and family members. He was even kind to those whose actions were caused anger to others.
Once a Bedouin came to the Mosque where the companions of messenger and Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) were sitting. He started urinating there. The companions wanted to stop him but Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) asked them not to do so.
When he finished urinating he called him over and said to him, “Any kind of urine or filth is not suitable for these masjids (Mosques). Instead, they are only [appropriate] for the remembrance of Allah, the Prayer, and the recitation of the Quran.”
He then issued an order to a man from the people, who then came with a bucket of water, which he poured over the [affected] area [of the mosque].
(The above event was referred from the book Sahi-Muslim)
There are many such events that explain how kind Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) was. That is where we lack. We are always trying to seek love and admiration but do not show Kindness that is needed to be admired by others.
Now, It is up to you. Either be rude to people and get isolated or be kind and get admired and loved by the people around you.
This article is the first article of the series #LifestyleOfMuhammad. Subscribe to the blog to read more articles of this series.