Have you ever imagined why some people who are skilled but fail to achieve what they want? Because they lack self-confidence to take the next steps that needed for their success. A famous psychiatrist once said, “Attitudes are more important than facts.” Which means you can achieve what you want if you are self-confident even if you lack some skills. Skills can be developed gradually.
Everybody come across incidents in life when he/she sees self-confidence is going down. They need to maintain it simultaneously. J.K. Rowling’s story of becoming a best selling author is one of the best examples of self-confidence.
J.K. Rowling the author whose book series has been translated into 73 languages. Sold millions of copies and accrued over $20 billion through movie adaptations and sponsorships.
She went through lots of failures while writing her novel Harry Potter. Bad marriage, devastating death of her mother and raising children alone. Despite all these problems, she did not give up on her dream.
When she finished writing first few chapter she then sent the manuscript to publishers. It was rejected by about 12 publishers. However, this rejection, rather failure did not convince her to give up on her dream and take a job for a living.
Rowling would not have been so successful if she would give up on her dream after consistent failure. In other words, she maintained her self-confidence. She was so confident that one day her book will be published that is why she would continue doing what was necessary to get her book published.
Why you lose self-confidence?
Self-confidence is precious but fragile too. In the first hand self-confidence is the stepping stone to success. On the other hand, it goes down the moment you meet an unfortunate situation. There can be many reasons. It may be failures in life, losing something important in life and discouragement from people around you.
The factors that reduce self-confidence are so hazardous that they fill the mind with negative thoughts. That leads you to think that you are left with nothing. When you lose self-confidence you fail to do better in present and future too.
How can you maintain or regain your self-confidence?
Focus on blessings
Imagine the situation where you lost something important in your life. For instance, high paying job. You will think that you lost everything because you had been believing that your job is everything for you. However, in reality, you lost only one job. Lots of jobs await you in the market.
The moment you lose something, instead of cursing yourself with left-with-nothing feeling, write down all other important things (i.e. blessings) you have in your life. The moment you do it you will be self-confident to get another job or start your own venture.
Quran says, “every problem has a solution.” So, find out the solution instead of focusing on what you have lost.
Believe in yourself
You lose your self-confidence the moment you stop believing in yourself. No matter what the situation you are in, just believe in yourself. Believe that you can achieve what you want. If your one journey has failed to get you to your destination, just try another journey. Do not give up.
Start by telling yourself that Allah wanted you to be the best person you can be in every aspect of your life. “You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind,” [Quran, 3:110]
Surround yourself with books, videos and people that motivate you
You might have heard the phrase, “you are what you read”. This actually applies to many places. Such as, “you are what you watch” and “you are who you meet or surround yourself with”
So, read that motivates you to achieve your goal. Meet people who motivate you to do what you want. Watch videos that motivate you to do what you want.
In another Hadith, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A person is on the religion of his companions. Therefore let every one of you carefully consider the company he keeps.” [Tirmidhi]
Do not bother what others say about you
If you value what others are saying about you, you will lose your self-confidence. The society is so jobless that they have something to say against you no matter how well you do in your life.
Do not let the society prevail upon you. Rely on Allah who is more than sufficient for you. “Whoever places his reliance on Allah then He is his sufficiency” [Quran, 65:3].
Practice the above tips to maintain or regain your self-confidence and achieve whatever you want in your life.