The other day, in an office get together, one of my colleagues shared a story of her friend who lost happiness of her professional life and personal life because of SELF-OBSESSION, in other words, “EGO”. Let’s name her “Lara”.
Lara was highly ambitious. After her marriage, she was allowed to continue her professional life after the consent of her husband and in-laws. It was a good opportunity for her to balance professional and personal life with ease as she was blessed with a good and understanding husband who cared her ambition.
Lara’s life was going perfectly as she designed. However, after few months of her marriage, she suddenly starts feeling that her ambitious career is facing a hurdle because of her married life.
The feeling was nothing but a reaction to self-obsession. She was so self-obsessed that she decided to break the relationship with her husband and fully focused on her ambitious career.
There were much discussion and debate to convince her to weaken her decision of divorce. However, all efforts of her parents and in-laws go in vain. Eventually, she obtained the divorce with her husband.
Although, her divorce did not bring any raise in her professional life at all. Even she was doing worse than before. Her performance level decreased.
It was not the end of her bad fortune. She decided to stay apart from her parents thinking staying alone will bring some better moment in her professional life. However, even she was not oblivion of the disastrous life ahead.
She was so obsessed with herself and her ego was reached so high that she did not bother to repent and go back to her husband who was still waiting for her. Her ego destroyed her life.
This is not the only story in the world that advocates disastrous effect of ego and self-obsession. There are many if we observe around us.
“Ego trip: a journey to nowhere,” says Robert Half.
Self-obsession is an another word for ego. Those who are trapped in their ego are so obsessed with themselves that they don’t care about anyone. They talk only about themselves. They care about themselves only. They are so arrogant that people don’t like them at all.
Some people equate ego with self-esteem which is absolutely wrong. Because self-esteem does not allow anyone to hurt others’ esteem. Disrespect anyone. Moreover, how can self-esteem be so bad that it eventually destroy your esteem?
You shall not treat the people with arrogance, nor shall you roam the earth proudly. God does not like the arrogant showoffs “Walk humbly and lower your voice – the ugliest voice is the donkey’s voice.” (Quran 31:18-19).
If ego is so perilous we have to learn how to get rid of it immediately. Below are some tips that can help us to control our ego.
You are not the only person who worked hard to make you successful. Your family members, your friends and most importantly your creator “Allah” are around you to shape you in a way you want. If you give credit to the people around you and “Allah” then you will able to kill your ego and respect everyone.
“Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Mawla (protector).” [Quran (Surah Tawba, Verse 51)]
While we are trapped into self-obsessed we don’t like to forgive others. We make others mistakes unforgettable thinking how dare them to make mistakes. Actually, not forgiving is the sign of weakness. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” — Mahatma Gandhi.
Forgiving others will make you humble and reduce your arrogance too. It will make you a better person for you and your society.
“They should rather pardon and overlook. Would you not love Allah to forgive you? Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
As the above story says being more ambitious toward our career makes us more arrogant and that leads to disastrous life. I am not asking you to be ambitious. Rather, revise your ambitions. Introspect where your ambitions are leading you.
If your ambitious life making your life better, strengthening your relationships and making your life happier then your ambition is good. Or else you have to revise it for your better and happier life.
Kill your ego to make your life better and happier. Better late than never.